Archive for December, 2008

So This is What Christmas Feels Like?

December 29, 2008

Just got back into town from four days in the Twin Cities. I’d loved to regale you all with some outlandish stories about seeing old friends an getting drunk down by the river. But I cannot. A majority of my weekend was spent in the confines of Martha’s house feeling like lymph nodes were trying to set my throat on fire.

I took a trip out to a CVS in Eagan, aka Haleyville, to go to one of these Minute Clinics. I’ve always been aprehensive about making a doc appointment at a regular clinic for some reason. But the MInute Clinic was so easy! If your throat/stomach hurts to the point where you think you need medical assistance, go for it.

I had a throat culture done, and the intial test came back negative. “Just a virus. Not much you can do but wait it out.” they said. So I continued to take tylenol and gagle like a mofo.

Cut to Yesterday afternoon. Just was the car arrived in the Chicago city limits, I get a call from the minute clinic, telling me they sent my test intot the lab, and I do in fact have Strep Throat.


I’m on antibiotics now, which is nice, but the pain is still very present.

I feel so gross, all I can do is make THIS face:



The tale of the drafty-ass bedroom

December 22, 2008

Yesterday morning, AllysonD and I were hanging out in her room when, suddenly, I could see my own breath. I mini-freaked! Her room always a little chilly ue to her old, drafty windows; but it’s never gotten to a point where I cold visualize the coldness in the air. Measures needed to be taken to improve the bedroom’s warmth:

– Two of her storm windows weren’t shut. So we had to open those bad boys up and push the sotrm windows down; and, therefore, we let the cold winter air blow in, eliminating the little warmth we already had.

– Added yet another blanket to a bed that’s already three blankets deep (plus flannel sheets).

– We also added a second blanket to the drafty window that is directly behind the bed. Seran wrap and a hairdrier is generally the solution for such a problem; but with two kitties in tha house, it’s not really an option.

It was a tthis point we finally checked the temperature to see that the windchill was a very un-Chicago -30 degrees! It may have been the coldest Chicago day i’ve had to endure since I’ve lived in the city. I know it’s a pretty standard Minnesotawinter temp; but I was pretty alarmed anway.

I remember back in elementary school/jr. high we RARELY got snow days; but instead, we’d have cold days because the superintendant didn’t want a bunch of icicle children waiting outdoors for a schoolbus. It always gets my goat when I hear from people who grew up in the south, that if there was a dusting of snow on the ground. Not only would the school’s be shut down, but everything would come to a screeching halt. I just can’t fathom how a snow flurry can stir that much fear in the hearts of the country’s southern folk.

In short, everything below the Mason-Dixon line is awful…and most likely morbidly obese.


Velma: A Photo Essay

December 17, 2008





Vacation Live Blog!!!

December 17, 2008

As previously mentioned, I’ve had a mega vacation on my horizon for sometime. I’m going to be away from the office from nineteen consecutive days. And now, finally, my time has arrived! I’m totally on holiday, yall. To commemorate the occasion, I’m going to do my best update this blog with my most pertinent vacation events. So, without further ado:

12/17, 10:40am

I’m hanging out with two cute cats in a comfy bed while AllysonD is at work.

My tea got lukewarm! Worst day ever, right?

Wrong. So wrong. Close to three more glorious weeks of THIS:



North Side = Icy Grave

December 8, 2008

My apologies for the recent lack of entries. I blame the first three weeks of said break on work, and the last week on pure laziness. But AV’s back in full-effect, ya’ll. Towers is hitting its holiday lull, and starting next Wednesday, my nineteen straight days of paid vacation begin! Needless to say, this will leave me with plenty of free time to dedicate to this Beacon of Scatterbrained Nonsense. Now, on with th’ bloggins…

I almost died! Tonight! Like, two hours ago.

After spending a better part of today on the couch with AllysonD, eating pizza and periodically nodding off from pizza-related exhaustion, I was invited up to Andersonville to hang out with Anne and Chris. Although it meant midding the last half The Amazing Race finale, I agreed to make the trek up north.

“Great!”, I shrieked. “It hasn’t snowed all day! I bet the roads aren’t too bad! Man, I’ve been such a load all day, I’ll brave the cold and ride my bike! I’ll thank myself later for doing so!”

This voyage also presented me with the opportunity to christen my newly-purchased long underwear. I hadn’t worn long underwear in ages (grade school?), and I’ve been waiting to try them out.

They’re so amazing. First of all, I look fucking good in these things. Next, and most importantly, they’re unbelievably warm. I couldn’t wait to try them out on my ride.

I started off on my journey. And, about a block in red flags were going up in my head. Side streets in my neighborhood are still covered in snow. My road bike tires have very little traction, so trying to not fall, it took me approximately five minutes to travel less than half a mile.

Chicago’s plowing woes, however, do not take away from the magnificent job I did keeping myself warm. In fact, I had done such a good job bundling up, I failed to take into account I’d have to look behind me to check for traffic. Between my winter jacket, sweatshirt hood, Extreme-Cold Hat and bike helmet in was near impossible to look at what was happening behind me. I might as well have worn a neckbrace for warmth.

I was biking up Ashland for no more than a block and a half until I had to veer to avoid a sludge puddle. When suddenly:


I’m nearly sideswiped by a molester van. I don’t fall of my bike, but it’s the closest I’ve come to getting to hit in a really long time.

THIS close yall.

I jump off my ride, and begin walk home. As fun as an A-Ville hang out would have been. Neither biking or a two hour-plus round-trip bus ride were in the cards for me tonight.

I’m still wearing my long undies, though. Here’s a self portrait of me to whet your collective erotic whistles:


Also, “Good Song” by Blur just came on via iTunes Shuffle. The video for this song is amazing. Look ‘N Love: