Still Long for the Days When Ollie was Just a Hilarious Pet Name

Thinking a lot about Junior High today. For me, and presumably most of you, 7th and 8th grade were the launching point to my Awkward Teen Phase (which I’m hoping to grow out of very, very, soon).

While I had a solid core of friends, I was always concerned how I appeared to my peers. I thought I was a pretty righteous 13 year old: starting First Baseman for my little league team, enterprising neighborhood lawn mower, and reciter of EverySimpsonsLineEverWritten. But still, I found it not enought o simply be happy with being myself. Awkward Teen PT had a goal that eclipsed all my afrementioned accomplishements: I wanted to be fucking cooool.

What constituted ‘being cool’ in the eyes of the 7th grade me: A pair of Airwalks, unbuttoned Plaid flannel accompanied by ironic t-shirt (ironic tee could be switched out for a Kurt Cobain RIP shirt), JNCO jeans, and a low-hanging backpack.

These were the fashion choices of the skater crowd, whom after school, would hangout in front of the skate shop The Green Gecko just down the street. Rumor had it, they would go behind TGG and SMOKE CIGARETTES, which absolutely terrified me.

The problem was, I looked nothing like this. Junior high was the first time I started being concerned with what I wore to school. A majority of my clothes were purchased by my mother at fine outfitters like Montgomery Ward or Mervyn’s. Obviously, my fashion apathy simply was not going to cut it at Ramsey Junior High. I had a desire to fit in and look the part, even though a) I didn’t hang out with these kids, and b) had no idea how to skateboard. Looking back, a reason for my desire to fit in could have been that the skater look was exactly that, a LOOK. A Prergogative. What did my clothing choice say to the world? It said, “I don’t know, ask my mom.” It was time to forge my own (their) style, I thought. hulkhogan5

So, I made a style change. That Thanksgiving break, my mom and I made our annual trip to Omaha to spend the holiday at my aunt’s house. During our stay, one day we ventured to Crossorads to buy some clothes. I strolled inside the mall’s Gadzooks, pulled out my Lawn-mowing savigs and bought a pair of JNCO’s, which at $45 were the most expensive item of clothing I had ever owned.A couple more stops throughout the mall, and I was ready to (look I was going to) skate with best of them.

What happened the following week at school is akin to the scene from Freaks and Geeks when Sam wears his new Parisian Night Suit to school. My new threads brought on the exact opposite attention I wanted. While he entire school wasn’t glaring at me, every friend and acquaintance I had welcomed my new look with very confused and slightly amused looks.

While I didn’t immediately retire the jeans as Sam retired his night suit, they definitely didn’t make many appearnaces following that day.Pretty sure I rocked the flannel-and-tshirt look all the way through Freshman year of high school, though. My fave t-shirt I wore under said flannel was grey with THIS:

229551714_a5b4f7bc431GARY LARSEN = GRUNGE GODDD!!!!

never forget:


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